My dear friend, poet Dessa Byrd Reed, often spends holidays alone as a widow. However, she doesn't see this, as many population often do, as a depressing circumstance. In a November 2000 Poetic Voices interview, she said, "Because I am singular and live alone, I eat out a lot. I love to talk to strangers. That's one of my popular things. I go out for breakfast and talk to people."
Another talented writer, Leslie Lafayette, dealt with being a childless woman by option in Why Don'T You Have Kids?: Living a Full Life Without Parenthood. You can bet that because of her option many population would pity her. She writes the "Alone Again, Naturally" column for the excellent magazine The Desert Woman. Observers might discontinue she's miserable on the holidays.
Christmas Cookies
Both Leslie and Dessa have full lives and radiate Christmas cheer, not just in December but all year round. While we all need human contact, it's a mistake to discontinue that population without the traditional family supper are all on suicide watch. anyone who has negotiated where to have Christmas and which family members can come when, not to mention refereed in-law and spouse disputes, knows that the attract of having a table for one at Christmas is powerful.
However, when population aren't alone by choice, Christmas can be lonely. In Michigan, I interviewed a woman, the founder of a divorced and widowed retain group, who chose to have Christmas supper every year for lonely widows, widowers and divorced people, ordinarily from her retain group. Her children understood that she needed to start this new tradition in her new life.
Similarly, having children around, even with the relentless gimmes and commercialism, lends a special magic to Christmas, which is why playing Santa appeals to so many.
The holidays can be joyous if you're alone, or they can be difficult. As with so much, your feelings depend on your personality, your circumstances, your childhood, and in many cases on healing or psychological conditions.
Some tips to remember if you're alone or without your retain system:
*Take benefit of counseling services in your community, including from your local church, synagogue, temple or other place of worship.
*Take time out for spirituality. You might attend services just to feel human feel and community. population are commonly nicer at Christmas.
*Do all the things you wanted to do but couldn't in your previous life. Travel. Even in this post-9/11 world, you can visit faraway places. There are many tour groups for singles.
*Attend art walks, holiday concerts, lectures, and movie screenings alone. Or invite a friend you haven't talked to in a while.
*Volunteer--it's a remarkable way to make friends, stay active, and feel fulfilled.
*Go out to supper alone! While women in singular feel uncomfortable, project an air of confidence. You are a strong, vital woman. This doesn't mean that you should go bar-hopping or take risks alone at night. But you have the right to ask for a table for one without feeling as though population are judging you. (Most population are too preoccupied with their own lives to notice.)
*Gather a circle of friends or population in the same situation--just make sure the evening doesn't turn into a pity party.
*Don't overdrink, overeat or do drugs. It's just not a good tradition.
*Bake cookies if you're so inclined. Cookies make remarkable Christmas presents and ways to reconnect with your friends.
You may be tempted to think of yourself as Ebenezer Scrooge. Don't, and boil anyone in his own pudding who calls you "Scrooge." You are honoring Christmas in your own heart and retention it always. Christmas for one, anyone?
Christmas For One: reasoning health Over the Holidays
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